I don't know about your babies, but my baby grows out of her PJs like nobody's business. I don't know what it is, but they just don't last us. Considering she wears a clean pair EVERY SINGLE night, this is quite the inconvenience for us. I've decided to stop putting her in footies because those seem to fit for the least amount of time, and I've found that she sleeps MUCH better when she goes to bed in two piece pajamas anyway (it really is peculiar how the tiniest adjustment can make such a difference). Seeing as she doesn't really get *seen* in her PJs, I'm not exactly keen on shelling over the big bucks (or even the medium bucks) for them. As long as they're comfortable for her, I really don't care what they look like. But when my friend, Hannah, showed me some ridiculously adorable sleepwear she picked up from Old Navy for her daughter Stella, I knew I had to pay them a visit. Affordable AND cute? I have to say I'm impressed.

P.S. The pair in the picture is on sale in the actual store. ;)

The more I think of it, the more I'm loving the idea of a floor bed (or, montessori-style bed) for Cheech once we get her into her own room. The reason we don't have our bed on the floor now is because when you live and run a business out of a 650 sq. ft. space with a baby, you use every single nook and cranny possible for storage. Cheech isn't walking yet, and THANKFULLY hasn't been showing extreme amounts of interest, but I imagine once she does figure it out, having her sleep in our bed when we're not in it might be a tad bit scary.

Anyway, I just wanted to thank all of you who suggested it. It really is the most practical solution, and I have no idea why it never crossed my mind.

Also, TONS of thanks for all your thoughts regarding sharing. It's fascinating and educational to learn all the approaches different parents choose to take and why.

Photo, goldberg

Oh, the mystery of co-sleeping and why families choose to do it. If you've been reading this blog since the beginning, you may recall that Joe and I were a bit unsure about co-sleeping. It was an idea we considered, but with all the dangers involved, we weren't sure it was the best decision for us and our baby. So we went out, bought a crib, and set it up super cute with a handful of stuffed animals and some Dwell Studio crib sheets... because who with a baby on the way doesn't do that?

Cheech was born at 7:50 in the morning, and Joe and I remember that night as being one of the most traumatic of our lives. Our brand new baby SCREAMED and WAILED the ENTIRE night. At the time I was unaware that I was producing zero colostrum, and by that evening my poor girl was starving. She was latching, so we had no clue that her non-stop tantrums had to do with the fact that she had not received an ounce of food since being pulled out of my belly. She absolutely refused to be placed in the hospital crib, and the only thing that seemed to help her was being cradled in my or Joe's arms. We were lucky that we got to stay in a private room with two beds. We spent that night in 20 minute increments of holding and passing her back and forth between us. The next morning, we discovered her blood sugar levels were low, and that I was dealing with some serious breastfeeding challenges. Having to put so much extra effort into nursing, sleeping with Cheech had become extremely convenient.

Because of my cesarian, we stayed in the hospital for four nights, and by the time we came home, co-sleeping had already become our norm. All of a sudden, all those dangers didn't seem as serious and scary... I can't speak for other couples and families, but we've always been very aware of our baby's presence in our bed. Sleeping with our baby not only made constant nighttime feedings incredibly easier (even when Cheech became an exclusively bottle-fed baby), but it offered a way to bond with our child on a whole new level. Jamie once stated in one of her posts that sleeping with H allows her to spend hours with him that that she misses out on during the day while she's at work. Her sentiment made so much sense to me. Yes, I can see how sleeping with your baby may not seem like valuable time spent together, but trust me, in a very peculiar way, it definitely is. I think most people would agree that the act of sharing a bed with someone creates a deep sense of closeness and intimacy. For me, sleeping with Cheech has provided a great feeling of attachment despite my failed attempts at breastfeeding.

Co-sleeping has certainly come with its challenges, but I am a firm believer that unless there is some sort of sleep training involved, most babies face sleep challenges. That being said, I am here to say that babies who sleep with their parents can and do have the potential to sleep through the night... the ENTIRE night, even. Cheech was your classic "wake every two hours to feed" baby for the first two months of her life. Despite everyone's claims that "bigger babies sleep for longer periods", and "formula babies make it through the night because they are fuller", we didn't exactly have that experience. I assumed that my bigger-than-average, bottle-fed baby would be a champion sleeper in no time, but that was not at all the case for us. In many ways, all these declarations that seemed to apply to the average baby, were starting to remind me of constantly being reassured that morning sickness "only lasts during your first trimester of pregnancy". Somewhere along my 16th week, when I was still on a pretty strict diet of bagels and popcorn because everything else kept making me ill, I started to realize that no one seemed to know shit... at least when it came to me and my situation.

Between months 2 and 4, she went down to waking three times a night. Then another two months of twice a night. Right at 6 months, she mostly only woke once on most nights. Examining her two month pattern, I was hoping/assuming she'd make it through without waking at all by 8 months. Well, since our little Cheech likes to keep us on our toes, she waited until her 9th month to pull that trick out of her hat. She'll be 11 months on Sunday, and I can confidently say that she sleeps the entire night (roughly 6:30-7) about half the week, and still resorts to her one early morning bottle the other half of the week. If I compare her sleep patterns to all the other babies I know, I can't say she's the best sleeper on the block, but she ain't exactly doing too shabby either. And if I take her age into consideration, she's in fact doing a pretty awesome job.

Of course we've dealt with setbacks from time to time, and I'm sure many of you recall all the issues I've had with actually putting her to sleep, but I wrote this post to point out that, contrary to popular belief, co-sleeping doesn't necessarily result in a poor sleeper. Often times, I know parents of co-sleepers may not get the best support, and they may feel discouraged by their situation if they have a frequent waker, but let's not forget that there are babies who sleep in cribs and in their own bedrooms who also suffer from these problems. Although I have not personally felt the need to sleep train, I'm not trying to say that I'm against it here. Every family has to do what works best for them. I guess I just view sleep as a milestone that some babies reach sooner than others... such as crawling or talking. There are babies who have an extensive vocabulary by their first birthday, while others wait closer to their second to utter any words at all. But eventually, even when it comes to sleep, they all get it.

As you know, Joe and I also co-sleep with Cheech. We are currently in the market for a bigger place where she can have HER OWN ROOM, and as much as we love sleeping with her, I think the time to get her sleeping on her own is quickly approaching. Like Jamie, I've come across some challenges with co-sleeping*, but on a completely different level. While H, I'm sure, was sweetly sleeping cradled in one of his parents' arms the other night, I woke up to a fierce baby kick in the eye that I'm surprised didn't result into a massive bruise. So yeah, my little Cheech has proven that she feels the need to be active during ALL hours of the day. When she was smaller (I can't believe I'm even referring to her as "smaller", seeing as she's not even a year old), the constant rolling around was much easier to handle. However, sleeping with her has become increasingly difficult and I think Joe said it best when he proclaimed, "Cheech gets half the bed and you and I get the other half." Unfortunately, this could not be more true.

Considering we've attempted [and failed MISERABLY] to get her to sleep in her crib on two different occasions, I'm considering going straight for a "big girl" bed. The last time we tried to get her to make the big move to the crib, we spent two weeks of her waking up every hour until she was brought into our bed. I'll get more into it later*, but we had never had an issue with her waking so frequently, so I'm assuming that more than a desire to sleep with us, she just wants to sleep in a bed. And you know what? I get it. Crib mattresses are downright uncomfortable, and I would imagine most tremendously active sleepers would not be fond of sleeping in such a confined space.

Currently, we have our bed against a wall and during her sleeping hours that we're still awake, I barricade her in from the opposite side of the bed and up from the foot. This system works well for us and she sleeps on her own like that for approximately 5 hours a night, which gives me reason to believe that she could probably go the whole night. She also naps in our bed, and when she wakes up, she just makes sure to give a loud holler for someone to come get her. Getting her in a real bed would mean not having to deal with a toddler bed, and also having an extra place for guests to sleep when we have them (she would sleep with us for such an occasion). It's a big win, if you ask me. Lots of companies make lower beds these days, and with an added guardrail, I'd feel very safe having her sleep by herself.

So, what are your thoughts? I've told a few people this plan, and they've all seemed to look at me like I'm cray cray. Truthfully though, most people give me that look when I tell them we co-sleep anyway. I mentioned a while back that I also co-slept with my mom and was transferred to my own proper bed right around my second birthday. Realistically, we won't be moving until after Cheech's first birthday, so I don't feel I'll be upgrading her that early. Do you have older children who co-slept with you? When did you get them into their own bed?

*My personal experience with co-sleeping coming next week.

Photo, Milk Magazine via The Boo and The Boy

A questionnaire. Participate, if you are so inclined.

1. Do you have a toddler, child, or adult offspring?

No- you can stop reading (or skip to the end, if you are curious).

Yes- Continue to question #2.

2. Does your toddler, child or adult offspring have relativity normal or healthy sleep habits?

No- you can stop reading.

Yes- Continue to question #3.

3. Was your toddler, child or adult offspring "a good sleeper?" as a baby?*

No- Continue to question #4.

Yes- you can stop reading.

4. Did you eventually "sleep train"?

No- Continue to question #5.

Yes- you can stop reading.

5. So then, when did your toddler, child or adult offspring eventually learn to sleep well? Did you do anything to help it?

I have written about Henry's sleep challenges, and the fact that I am not ready to sleep train, especially at the cost of night weaning or ending our sleep sharing. This remains true. However I still wonder: I know there are leagues of families out there that are hard core believers in cosleeping, and against "sleep training." I assume these babies eventually. One day. Do sleep. Right? I just need to hear about it. Every one I know seems to say "she slept once we night weaned." "Once we moved him to a crib..." "Once we....." I could REALLY stand to hear from the "rest." Is that you? Please chime in.

*IE One who could, without sleep training, fall asleep on his or her own, without being nursed or rocked. Sleep for more than an hour solo in a bed or a crib. Could fall asleep if laid down "drowsy but awake." Not one who (like Henry) if you even think of laying down before he it OUT starts jerking his whole body around until he is completely wide awake and we have to start from square one. You know.

note: when I looked at this post in reader, many words were missing spaces between them. But when I try and edit it, the spaces are there. My apologies if that is happening to you also.

This baby business? Whew. Our average weekday is hard. I made a log:

515-530: henry wakes, nurse while ben showers

530-545: play with henry in bed, change his dipes while ben gets ready for work

545-615: get ready for work (dress, shower, make smoothie and eggs, help pack diaper bag, squeeze in a few last minute baby kisses, no wonder I almost never make it out of the door on time)

615 ben leaves to drop H off at the caregivers, i leave for my carpool to work

630-4: feel underworked and terribly sad that i am not making better use of my time at home with henry. crunch numbers to try and see if there is anything to be done. there isnt.

430-445: get home and nurse H, who has just woken up (ben and H have been home for a couple of hours)

445-530: spend time with my boys. try not to "get stuff done" but make it quality time.

530-545: H and ben bathe while i start dinner and get the room ready for bed (make bed, get dipes and pjs together, pick up floor, change water in humidifier)

545-630: nurse H and spend some more quality time with him before putting him to sleep while ben finishes cooking and watches a little surfing on the net and cleans up a little

630-640: wolf down our dinner

640-710: chat while we clean up (not the dishes- too noise) prepare for the morning, take care of little thing

710: H wakes up. we know that until we come to bed, he will just keep waking up. so ben goes to bed and reads a bit and lies with him

710 till i give in and go to bed to read (930ish?): edit photos for that wedding, make a tiny dent in the laundry that needs to be folded, type up these notes, refrain from blogging, try and give the cat 5 minutes of affection, pick up messes, wash cloth dipes, pay some bills

bed time to 5ish: lie in bed and try not to focus of what did not get done (those dishes, the rest of the laundry, mailing that package, calling my mom....) H wakes several times in the night to nurse.* i honestly have no idea how many. in the beginning of the night (9-12) i think it is every hour. then we get a long stretch. then it is frequent again in the early morning hours and we are using every trick to keep him asleep past 5.

we love H more than anything we could have imagined. we are so completely filled with joy and gratitude that he is in our life, and almost every moment spent with him is a good one. but. it is still hard. i hate that H goes to sleep so soon after i get home from work. miss alone time with my husband. i am frustrated that our only day off together too often involves catching up around the house instead of taking an adventure with H. i'd love to watch at least half a movie one evening without one of us having to go to bed.

so i wonder; how does this compare with your routine, if you are also in the thick of it. if you have made it to the other side (please tell me there is one) when does it get better?

*unless he is sick or teething, for the most part this just involves scooting him down from the crook where he is nuzzled by me, then scooting him back up after he passes back out within 5 to 10 minutes. THANK GOD.

I know it has been food week here, but I am breaking that to end with a quick talk (call for support?) on sleep and the mama being away.

Let me preface with an overview of our sleep sitch; we sleepshare. (co sleep, whatever. H sleeps in our bed.) He is nowhere near sleeping through the night, but we are not too fussed with it and have no desire to sleep train any time soon. Sometimes a gentle rock puts him right back to sleep, sometimes he wants to nurse. Especially because I am away from him at work so much during the day, I look at this as a time for us to (albeit half asleep) bond and be together.

Enter some situations where I might be away for a night (or few). With this project on the horizon, I might be doing a bit of travelling next year. H and Ben will come along for some of it, but to come for all of it would be a bit much on the little guy. (And potentially pricey buying extra plane tickets.) Ben is a stellar hands on Dad, and is completely up to the task of being at home with the little man. But we are all a little nervous about the nights, since Ben simply can't offer what I can. He can have a bottle ready, sure. But it isn't quite the same, I don't think.

So I am curious. How old where your little ones when you were comfortable being away for the night? Those of you who let baby wean on their own, how old were they? A lot of this travel happens next summer, and he will be over a year old. Maybe I shouldn't even be sweating it, it is so far away? Thoughts and your own experiences would be sooooo welcome!

And, have a great weekend dudes! We are having a bonus day off together all 3 of us. A scene identical to the one above is happening *right now* and I have been able to get so much done! Yeah!

Big news I forgot to share; H has been sleeping unswaddled for the last month or so. This is huge, people. I thought he would be sleeping swaddled through high school, when he had kids of his own, into retirement. I couldn't understand how he would grow out of the need.

And then he did.

BUT. With non swaddled sleep has come sleeping on his side. And with sleeping on his side has come: THE ATTACK OF THE LEAKEY DIAPERS.

It is a nightmare. He leaks out of two diapers a night. He goes through jammies like there is no tomorrow. He soaks up our bed sheets, and worst of all; he requires middle of the night diaper changes. (He hates being changed when he is sleepy, the poor thing.)

Is there anything to be done? We love our fuzzi bunz cloth during dipes the day, but have always used a single disposable at night. (Either 7th Gen or Earth's Best for no chlorine and all that.)

Help!

How is it, that no matter how much we new moms read, and talk to other moms, there are still some things that seem to (commonly) slip by.

I mentioned casually to our lactation consultant, Robin, how well Henry was sleeping. "Just to warn you, they often revert to waking more often around four months."

It wasn't a week later that Henry went from a guy who; went to bed around 8PM, slept anywhere from 5-9 hours (waking at most once for a quick feed) and then waking up for the day around 6:30... to a guy who; goes to bed around 7ish, wakes up for a 30 minute post bed time snack (?), sleeps till about 11PM, then wakes almost hourly after that. Until the start of the day around 5:30 ish. It is probably a combination of things. Teething, separation anxiety (as he now is aware of us, when we are there or not) and maybe making up for missed time during the day? (Since this all happened right when I went back to work.)

Experienced moms, when I mention this to them, say oh yeah, totally. New moms don't ever seem to know it's coming. So, consider this your warning.