Alright, guys, I need your help again. Sadly, bath time is not our best time. L's first bath was so traumatizing, I'm surprised I didn't end up having a nervous breakdown. We've tried two different tubs, and both resulted in her wailing her little heart out. We've also tried altering the temperature of the water, but that doesn't seem to be much help. So I'm wondering, is it just a newborn thing? If so, roughly when do they stop freaking out so much and actually enjoying being in the water? Or, maybe it's just a personal issue? She is pretty finicky when it comes to practically everything else, so I guess bath time would be no different. We have friends that just take their baby into the shower with them. That seems like a good idea in theory, but I have to admit it freaks me out a little. Is this something you've tried? Do you have a better idea? I'm in need of any and all suggestions.

Our friend, Molly Schiot, shot by Cass Bird

During Jamie & Celia's maternity leave we asked a few of our favorite moms from around the internet if they would help fill the space with their wisdom. We asked for their thoughts on being a new mom, motherhood in general, or maybe something that really suprised them (no one told me that!). Please welcome Marie-Ève!

Things that surprised me about motherhood.

The amazing effect seeing their little faces has on my morale, even when tired; it's crazy how just that is often enough to keep me going.

How simultaneously hard and rewarding breastfeeding is. How you sometimes can't wait for it to be over, but then also can't bear to stop.

How however long maternity leave is (I'm blessed with one year), it really goes by too quickly.

How, despite being terrified of childbirth and sure that I would want the epidural as soon as the first contraction came, I was able to go through it naturally twice.

How even though becoming a mother instantly became a huge part of my life, I didn't stop caring about other things as well, about everything else that interested me before. I realized that pursuing these things and still taking care of myself actually made me a better mother.

How babies are already full of the personalities they will end up having... How they naturally take their place within the family, by just being there and being themselves.

How you can survive on interrupted sleep, for years.

How so much communication is possible even without language.

How our life never went back to "normal". At the beginning we were waiting for a return to the way it used to be, then we understood that it wasn't happening. A "new normal" was taking place, instead. And we were better for it.

How I shouldn't take their routine and patterns for granted. As soon as I thought I was having it down, they would throw me out for a loop, by not getting down for a nap anymore, or suddenly wanting to nurse much earlier. Same with their behavior or reaction to certain situations; despite fearing that both kids would explode during a long flight, they slept and did well. Only to send us into complete disaster mode later when we least expected it, during familiar, trivial activities like taking a walk or shopping for groceries.

How I should never be afraid to try things that send us out of our comfort zone, and push the limits a little. In retrospect, it has always gone smoother than I could ever expect.

How when it comes to my kids I naturally become assertive, insistent, relentless, a force to be reckoned with, which I had never been before.

How clearly they suddenly made my priorities appear, even with things that are unrelated to them.

How your heart simply grows to welcome a second child, and you really can love the both of them as strongly, even if before I didn't how how this was possible. Similarly, how seeing my husband as a dad is sometimes making me ache in love and yes, even lust, for him.

How it's never possible to be a perfect parent, how sometimes you go to bed at night with your heart heavy, full of guilt and regret. But how it is also miraculous that the next day, and every day, you always get a chance to do over and get it right.

How, despite what we had thought, a second child does not feel any "less special". It is different, and seems to go by quicker, but we find ourselves taking just as many pictures, and being just as attentive and rejoiced by all of her little milestones and developmental progress.

How truly easier the second time is, probably because we are more relaxed (perhaps too much so sometimes -I've even occasionally forgotten the diaper bag at home!)

How immensely addictive is the smell, tiny limbs, little sounds, and furtive happy glances of new babies.

Look at this sweet face. Now, imagine this sweet face thinking there's an all-night rager going on in your bed. Not so sweet anymore, is it?

It's funny how even at the height of non-sweetness, you can't help but be enamored by them. Because let's be honest, anyone else would have been kicked out of bed and sent home.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

During Jamie & Celia's maternity leave we asked a few of our favorite moms from around the internet if they would help fill the space with their wisdom. We asked for their thoughts on being a new mom, motherhood in general, or maybe something that really suprised them (no one told me that!). Please welcome Kristina!

Hello Hank & Lucy readers! This is so exciting because me guest-posting means that Hank & Lucy are here! Or nearly here. Hugest congrats to mamas Jamie and Celia!

I've been thinking about what sort of advice I could possibly give to new moms out there that they haven't already heard 1M times. You know, nap when the baby is napping (true!), rest, don't try to do too much, accept help when offered, live in the moment because moments turn into days and months so quickly, try to make a tiny bit of time for yourself once in a while, etc etc etc. All of which are totally 100% time tested and true.

But most of us don't end up following that advice to the letter. Because there are always dishes to do, showers to be had, beds to be made, and sometimes you just wish your baby was a little bit older so he could do this or that or sleep longer or sit up or be mobile. It's just the nature of your first experience as a mother, I suppose. So maybe I won't give you any advice, instead maybe I will just share a part of my experience. The most remarkable part, for me.

What is impossible to prepare for, utterly enveloping, and completely unavoidable is the love. The extraordinarily deep, scary intense, gut-wrenching, rip-your-heart-out-and-wear-it-pinned-to-your-chest love, that appears without warning in the days and months that follow the birth of your child. In fact love actually seems like too small of a word. Too worn and used in so many other ways. This is something different and real and visceral. Something that feels so big and so true, it's hard to describe.

I was sorely unprepared for how the birth of my son would change me. It's as if the axis of my little universe suddenly and irreversibly shifted. I've read many times that having a child feels like watching your heart walk around outside your body. THAT is the truth. And it can be terrifying. I go down dark scary holes thinking about all the "what-ifs" for my little heart, and I wish I didn't but I don't understand how one avoids that? Your most vital organ is now out in the world, swinging on swings, climbing stairs, scraping his knees, eventually growing into a teenager (!), completely unprotected by your body. It's a wonder mothers survive the emotional upheaval.

Do you know what scares me more? Having another. Really. I don't think I'm ready to handle having my mind blown all over again. Jora left me a comment the other day that said "… you are about to find out that a mother's love is exponential." Exponential! That means that if you have three kids you don't have three times as much love. You have love to the power of three. Which is like, whoa. But it is wonderful to feel this deeply.

I can't even fathom what more of this would be like. But I can't wait to find out. You know what motherhood is? It's a drug.

Photograph by Deb Schwedhelm

During Jamie & Celia's maternity leave we asked a few of our favorite moms from around the internet if they would help fill the space with their wisdom. We asked for their thoughts on being a new mom, motherhood in general, or maybe something that really suprised them (no one told me that!). Please welcome Cate!

You know what sprung to mind when Jamie asked me if I would write about new motherhood? This notebook I had.

Talia spent the first couple of weeks of her life mostly asleep. Then I suppose she must have recovered from being born, realised this outside world was the new normal, and started paying attention.

She was a pretty good sleeper, in the sense that she generally slept at night. She'd wake a lot to feed sometimes, but she wouldn't be up for hours on end screaming. Hardly ever, anyway.

But at some point when she was only weeks old, I started to look for a pattern in her naps. It was a square ruled notebook; I turned it sideways and I wrote all twenty-four hours of the day all the way down the left-hand side. Then I noted when she fed and coloured the little squares to represent the times she was asleep.

And I stressed about it. Because, although she was a good sleeper, she was a little colicky and would sometimes take quite a while to settle in the evenings. Sometimes she'd keep us up, and this was in the middle of winter (and we only get eight hours daylight up here right in the depths of winter), when my husband was getting up at five am, spending three hours a day commuting, and working all day on a building site.

So, yeah, it's coming back to me now. There were nights when he would give in and go downstairs to try and get some sleep on the sofa. We'd kiss each other and say "sleep well" and "I love you" and "I hate this" and "I understand". And the next day I'd scribble in my little notebook like it might make some difference. Like by obsessively recording her every move through the day I might change what happened at night.

But I didn't believe in waking a sleeping baby, still don't. I believe as they get older it makes sense to feed them and put them to bed at times that make sense to you (while paying attention to what seems to make sense to them). But I never saw the sense in waking them, and I never had any luck keeping a tiny baby awake against its will either. So what effect I thought my stressing would have, I don't know.

So Jamie, Celia? Don't rush to scribble in notebooks. There is plenty of time for rhythm and routine. Aim for it only when doing so feels right. In the meantime... embrace the chaos. And sleep when you can.

henry sparrow jerman

04.21.2011

he is the most amazing thing. in the world. ever. obviously.

Here's what I know:

1. Jamie went into labor on Tuesday afternoon.

2. Jamie had her baby early this morning.

3. I'm SO excited for her!

Actually, I know more, but I'll go ahead and leave the rest of the details to the new mama herself.

I'll be taking over for the next month-ish. I'm still, technically on a bit of maternity leave as well, which means that I won't be around too often, BUT we do have some awesome guest posts lined up by some amazing baby mamas, so make sure to stay tuned.

*Photo, MonikaElenaPhoto

xox

I think it's safe to say that neither Jamie or I were looking to start a baby blog that threw loads of products at its readers like a couple of saleswomen. However, when Meghan requested a follow-up of the "musts and need nots" of baby stuff on this post, I thought that was a brilliant idea.

So, here's my recommendation for "must" product number one: The Boppy Newborn Lounger. We have a regular Boppy too, but the Newborn Lounger is indispensable. A friend had recommended it to Joe, so we decided to buy it on a whim. We are beyond thrilled that we did. We use it ALL the time and L can't seem to get enough of it. Since we live in a smallish apartment, we felt that a bassinet would be more of a nuisance than helpful. For us, the Lounger has done everything that a bassinet would do without taking up an excessive amount of space. For most of the day, it sits next to me on the sofa and it's great for napping, eating, and of course, lounging. We also use it for co-sleeping.* L is only two weeks old, so we really haven't had a chance to use most of our products just yet, but this one gets an A++ in my book.

*Be forewarned that the label CLEARLY states that this product is NOT intended for use on elevated surfaces or for sleeping. Although we use it under both of these circumstances, we NEVER leave L unattended in her lounger. Be smart with your babies, guys, and only do something if you feel 100% comfortable.

You wanna... see the baby's room? Head on over to desert fete!

Joe went back to work today. I cried. I guess it's not that surprising, really; turns out, you pretty much have a 6 week period to deal with (both physically and emotionally) after giving birth. Consequently, I've cried every day since L was born... but this was different. Before she came, we thought if he took roughly two weeks off from work, it would be plenty. It never crossed our minds that it would be so hard. A lot of it is insecurity. Cesarians are no joke in terms of recovery. L was born on a Monday, and until that Friday when we came home, I was incapable of doing anything but feeding her. Joe took over burping, diapers, swaddling, and everything in between. So really, I've only had about a week of hands on experience.

But mostly, these past 10 days have been the best of my life and the time spent with Joe and our baby has brought me such immense happiness. I wasn't expecting to feel SO much joy, and I'm just a little sad to see this part of it come to an end. The good thing, however? This just means new beginnings and so much more to look forward to with my little family.

*On co-sleeping... it's kind of funny that I thought I would have a say in this, because Lucia will have it NO other way.