Saturday, March 19, 2011


What a week! I woke up in the middle of the night on Monday with severe cramping and contractions that would not quit. I tried walking around our apartment, taking a hot shower, and drinking some water, but nothing seemed to work. Seeing as I've never been through this before, it crossed my mind that I could be in labor... but was in a bit of denial. Since the pain wasn't getting any better, I called my doctor's office at around 9 am. They told me to eat some protein, take a tylenol and stay hydrated, and they'd call me back in a couple hours to see if the situation had gotten any better. Of course, it didn't. I was asked to come in to make sure everything was ok and learned that I was experiencing false labor. I was sent home and told to rest because real labor was probably approaching. I felt like a ticking time bomb.

I had three more days of cramping and contractions before my next visit on Thursday. My doctor checked my cervix and found no progression, which was disappointing to say the least. I had done some research online and found that some women can go through false labor for up to 4 weeks before going into true labor. I realized that this could potentially really suck. Staying up half the night due to so much pain, only to find out it was all in vain, was not cool with me. She then started to press against my belly to feel the baby; a routine procedure. As she pressed on my lower abdomen, she announced that she was not feeling the head. Seeing as I'm hoping to have a baby with a head, this was not the kind of thing I wanted to hear. She brought in the ultrasound machine and she did end up finding the head, but shockingly, it was resting right below my left boob. My baby is still in a breech position. I was either mistaken when I thought the baby had turned, or it had in fact turned but then flipped right back up. I broke down in tears. This was the last thing I was expecting to find out. She also mentioned women who hold extra amniotic fluid have a tendency to carry breech babies because an upright position in more comfortable for them. She gave me two options... an EVC (no f*cking way) or scheduling a c-section.

I came home completely distraught. After doing more research online and contacting friends to see if they knew of anyone who had gone through something similar, I learned that acupuncture was a highly successful way of turning babies. Things were looking up and I was excited. I contacted a highly recommended acupuncturist in the area who specializes in all things pregnancy-related. However, after a long talk on the phone, it was clear that the odds of getting this baby in the right position were highly against me. She informed me that due to how late in the pregnancy I was trying to attempt this, I had a higher risk of inducing labor using this procedure (the optimal time is before 35 weeks). Therefore, she would have to use a "lighter" technique which was much less likely to be successful. She also mentioned that because of the extra amount of fluid I have in my belly, the chances of the baby flipping upwards again were much higher. She was willing to still do the procedure, but wanted to be very clear with me when it came to the risks and the odds. It wasn't the news I was hoping for, but I appreciated her honesty.

So, I slept on it and came to the conclusion that the best decision for me and my baby was to go ahead and schedule a c-section. Do I condone scheduling c-sections for convenience or selfish purposes? Absolutely not! That being said, I truly believe that there are circumstances where a c-section is definitely necessary. There are times when they save lives; if it wasn't for c-sections, neither I or my sister would be here today. Sadly, I feel many women are made to feel "less than" if they end up having to birth their babies via c-section. That's simply not the case. All of our pregnancies are different and all of our bodies are different and at the end of the day, isn't the goal to bring home a safe and healthy baby? That's my goal, at least. Am I sad that I won't be able to hold my baby immediately after birth? Honestly, I'm heartbroken. However, knowing that Joe will get that opportunity and knowing that this baby loves his/her papa SO MUCH (I get a little shimmy dance in my belly every time he comes home from work), makes this decision so much easier. After all, I didn't make this baby by myself. There is the slightest chance that this baby will find it's way down, in which case the c-section will be canceled, but I'm not going to hold my breath and I'm not going to be disappointed if it does not happen. Joe said it best when he told me that I need to focus on the fact that both the baby and I are very healthy. If anything, this whole ordeal has taught me an extremely valuable lesson... parenting will hit you with the most unexpected surprises and you just have to be ready for them.

36 comments:

  1. I had a week of false/pre labour before 2 days of actual labour. Very very tiring. Focus on your healthy baby and loving husband and everything will be fine no matter how your baby comes into the world. I gave birth the old-fashioned way and my man still held (caught) our son first.

    btw: Last week Offbeatmama had a great post on debunking the myth of a 'natural' birth: http://offbeatmama.com/2011/03/natural-birth-myth

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  2. Wow celia, what a week! I've no experience of any of this myself, being not yet a mama, but I think you made the right decision for the right reasons, I hope the baby swings back round for you still tho! X

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  3. Rebecca said it right- what a week! I think choosing the c-section 'just in case' is a good way to go. I can imagine wanting to experience things one way and being disappointed if that might not happen. As long as you and baby come out of it fine and healthy, that's the main thing at the end of the day. Best wishes to you and Joe xx

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  4. Yes, this was not your initial plan and if you are like me you don't like when plan changes...especially after 37 weeks of planning!

    However, you will have an adorable baby soon and this is the most wonderful thing ever! C-section, natural, epidural or whatever way people give birth, the point is to have a happy family and this is exactly what you will get. And you will be such a good mom.

    In my birth plan, I asked that my husband would be the first person to do the skin-to-skin with the baby. I think that it is the best gift that I could ever give him!

    And I really LOVE what you wrote (parenting will hit you with the most unexpected surprises and you just have to be ready for them.)! This is so true.

    As somebody told me, there are no medal for the woman who had a natural childbirth in the most pain, it is not a competition!!! So just bring that beautiful baby home and everything will be perfect!

    Take good care and I will be thinking a lot about you.
    And don't forget, you rock girl!!!
    xox

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  5. Totally agree with the others, the means at which your baby gets here doesn't matter and it's lovely that he/she will get precious time with their daddy. In terms of turning, have you seen the spinning babies website? It has some positions and things to try out if you didn't already know about it. x

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  6. Thank you for this post! I am in the exact same situation. I learned my baby is breech at almost 38 weeks. I tried the ECV and it was intense and unsuccessful. I am scheduled for a cesarean tomorrow morning, I will be exactly 39 weeks. I too am heartbroken. This was the very last thing I expected to happen. But again, I am also focusing on the positives and I'm thrilled to meet this little guy tomorrow!

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  7. I smiled when I read your line, "parenting will hit you with the most unexpected surprises" - that is so true. It's all about being flexible and open to what comes. Good luck with everything!! :)

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  8. i'm studying to be a doula and one of the first things we learned was to call it a cesarean-birth, not cesarean-section because just the language can make women feel inadequate. you and your doctor know what's best for your family. you're doing an amazing job.

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  9. oh Celia, I know you must be heart broken, but you made the right decision. and like you said, she's still got the opportunity to turn! like Claudia said, regardless of the type of birth you have, you will be so happy to meet her when she arrives. hang in there - you look beautiful! I love that pretty braid in your hair. :)

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  10. I ended up with a cesarean birth (thanks for that term, Rachel!) after planning for a natural birth. One big positive (besides the healthy baby) was the bonding time my daughter and husband got. It gave him a chance to become a really confident care-giver, and I think it's one of the reasons they're so close today. I can tell you, two years later, the way she came into the world is so beside the point!

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  11. Hi Celia,

    Im not a mother, nor am I pregnant, so forgive me if this turns out to be a silly question, BUT: My understanding was that mothers delivering via c-section CAN hold their babies immiediately after the birth, because they're usually performed using regional anaesthesia. Would that not apply to you also? In any case, I think you've made the right decision and anyone who implies that is a woman is "less-than" for having a baby by c-section is a knob head. xo

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  12. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18651885

    I wish you and your family the best!

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  13. I should also have said that the link is for information on the "natural" or "woman-centered" ceasarean. :)

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  14. You are going to rock this, lady. The point is not how our babies get here, the point is that they get here, and safely. So as one c-section baby to another... your c-section baby is going to be the very best.

    Now, wishing you bravery! RAR!

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  15. Hi I've been following your pregnancy from Australia. Just wanted to say A very similar thing happened to me with my now 10 week old daughter. The c section wasn't so bad (though take all the post op pain killers they offer). And you are spot on re:Joe bonding. Our daughter is besotted by my partner who held her chest to chest for 40 mins while I was in recovery. They still snuggle into thr same position when my daughter is really upset and it settles her immediately. Breaks my heart with cuteness. And a definate upside to the c section. My tips would be try and organise some support for when you get home ( help with any lifting, shopping, washing), rest as much as possible (ha) and do what you're doing, concentrate on the end game - a healthy mum and bub. You'll do brilliantly I know it. Look forward to meeting your new arrival. Jo (and Saskia)

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  16. Thank you for this post! I am new to your blog, and I just love it. I am so glad that you are talking about this. I am pregnant with our 3rd child and was really hoping to have a "natural" birth experience this time. My first pregnancy with our twins was extremely complicated, and I had to have a c-section, due mostly to the boys both lying transverse breech. We are now living in a small town and the hospital will not perform VBACs for insurance reasons, so my choice is to either have a scheduled c-section or drive an hour and a half (while in labor!) to the nearest big city and have to baby delivered by a doctor we've never met. Not a fun idea, if you ask me. And there are no midwives or birthing centers in our area.
    Anyway, with all the pro-natural birth chatter on the web these days, it is easy to feel inadequate, or that we will be missing out on some magical experience, so it is really nice to hear from someone else feeling the same way I am! Healthy babies (and mamas) are really the most important thing, right?

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  17. Holy shit lady, the universe is really making you work for this baby. The fucker.

    Celia, you're amazing. And I will hurt anyone who ever makes you feel bad about having a caesarean. Really.

    I love what Anna said that two years down the line how her baby came into the world is so completely irrelevant.

    Have you read Misconceptions? It's mostly seriously depressing but I love the bit at the end where she has her second caesarean and she writes about what a positive experience it was. There are not enough stories out there about them being positive and I firmly believe that they can be.

    Curious: are breech babies always born by CS in the states?

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  18. Oh oh oh, ALSO: you're fucking gorgeous.

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  19. My first baby was a footling breech and so she was a c-section, and Anna is totally right in the end it really has no bearing on how they turn out, who they are, and what an amazing love that they are.
    I think it's a sign of a baby who is determined to do things their way. My girl is now 16 and is still marching to her own beat in this world.

    Just remember to take as much help as you can get during the recovery period, it's really important.

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  20. pushing the baby out, or birthing it by caesarean is still GIVING BIRTH to one beautiful baby, and NEVER anything to be sneezed at! You'll be awesome
    (and i had a little tear when you spoke of Joe getting that first little cuddle - that will be one beautiful memory for both of you!)

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  21. hello! I read in a book that walk on all fours helps your baby to get around ... hope that helps. Big hug for both

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  22. Sorry you had such a hard week.

    Your attitude is just perfect - what matters now is the best outcome for you and your baby, and that's what you're going to get.

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  23. Gah, how awful. Hang in there. You will get this baby one way or another.

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  24. Ben: That Celia sure us a pretty lady....

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  25. Oh honey, don't stress yourself out. It's so not worth it. This kid is going to come out one way or another and you'll have plenty of time to bond and love. I was a c-section baby and one good thing they never talk about is that section babies have much nicer, rounder heads: much more photogenic for those first pics :)

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  27. yowza, what a week! BUT. you have the perfect outlook on things, not to mention an awesomely supportive husband. can't wait to see the little bugger!

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  28. thank you, everyone, for all your kind words. i just want to stress that it's important for us to be supportive of each other no matter how our babies are born. i think it's easy to be hard on ourselves when things don't go as expected or planned, but we need to remember that the most important thing is OUR BABIES. doing what's right for them is all that really matters. i've heard stories of women who were so set on natural birth, but ended up having to take an epidural because their labor stalled and that's the only thing that would help move things along. and, so what? you do your best and you try your hardest, and in the end, that's what makes you a good parent.

    jamie's planning a home birth and i applaud her bravery! i know in my heart that it's the best decision for her family and i have total faith that it will work out lovely for her. i've had complications here and there since the beginning of this pregnancy, so that was never an option for me. like i said, we're all different.

    @rosalie spinningbabies is one of the first sites i came across when doing my research. it's a great resource and it's taught me a lot about natural ways of trying to turn my baby.

    @robotbaby you're having a first day of spring baby. how fantastic! good luck!

    @rachel cesarian-birth... i LOVE that!

    @anon although it's not common practice, i've recently learned that some doctors have come around and will put a baby on its mothers chest immediately after cesarian. like i said, it's rare, but i'm going to ask my doctor about it this week. i guess there's liabilities involved when it comes to holding your baby even if just half your body is numb. if that's something my doctor won't do, i'm still very happy that joe will get those first moments. i want him to be as much of this experience as i am. also, we're giving birth in a pretty progressive hospital. i've heard stories of women not being able to see their babies for hours post-op, but our hospital encourages trying to breastfeed within an hour of cesarian.

    @lindsay i swear, you're a wealth of information when it comes to this stuff. ;)

    @meg :)

    @peonies have not read, but will definitely put in on my list. yes, i think about 98% of the time, cesarean is required for a breech baby. i know in the case of twins, where one is head down and the other is breech (like yours), they will do it the old fashioned way, but i'm not sure why they see that as different. also, it's the lighting. seriously.

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  29. I know it won't help you but in some hospitals in Montreal, they recently (like this year) started do natural childbirths with breech babies. So maybe, in a few years, things will be different for pregnant women in that kind of situation. Anyway, no matter what happen you will be wonderful!

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  30. I'm mostly a lurker here since I'm not pregnant yet, but I just wanted to say that I'm sending lots of good thoughts your way.

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  31. Like shit it is, you're GORGEOUS. And your belly is fucking amazing. Seriously, HAWT MAMA. And that's that.

    That's really interesting about breech births in the states, here they're almost always very keen for them to still be vaginal where possible. Although having said that my doc was pretty keen for me to have a section as Ammie was measuring huge and they worried her head would get stuck. Which as it turns out was complete rubbish as she was fairly itty bitty.

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  32. Sorry about such a tough week. Hang in there...

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  33. Good luck, Celia. I read both your blogs and haven't commented before but I just want you to know that I think you are being thoughtful, wise, and smart--hang in there, you can make it!

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  34. Celia!! I promise, as someone who was totally wedded to the idea of a natural birth, when it came down to it, all I cared about was my baby being born safely. Yes, I did end up having the birth I wanted, but I knew that if in labor, things changed in ways I wasn't expecting I just wanted my baby, dammit!

    Maybe you'll go into labor spontaneously and s/he'll flip just in time. You never know.

    All I can say is, lady, you look and sound like it's HIGH TIME this baby made his/her appearance!

    @peonies - If you've given birth before, most doctors and midwives here will deliver a breech baby vaginally, because your pelvis is primed (or whatever the lingo is they use). But for first time moms they tend to require c-section.

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  35. Thank you for this post. I'm in a nearly identical situation. I think I'm mourning the loss of the "natural" birth I'd envisioned, but I'll get through that- and as I get through it, the excitement to meet my baby (perhaps in less than a week!) is growing and growing.

    Thank you for writing, I'm so appreciative that more of a voice is being given to the necessary c-births. After 37 weeks of focusing on "vaginal is best", it's hard to be at a point where, actually, it's not for me.

    Cheers to healthy babies resting in our arms very soon.

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