The more I think of it, the more I'm loving the idea of a floor bed (or, montessori-style bed) for Cheech once we get her into her own room. The reason we don't have our bed on the floor now is because when you live and run a business out of a 650 sq. ft. space with a baby, you use every single nook and cranny possible for storage. Cheech isn't walking yet, and THANKFULLY hasn't been showing extreme amounts of interest, but I imagine once she does figure it out, having her sleep in our bed when we're not in it might be a tad bit scary.

Anyway, I just wanted to thank all of you who suggested it. It really is the most practical solution, and I have no idea why it never crossed my mind.

Also, TONS of thanks for all your thoughts regarding sharing. It's fascinating and educational to learn all the approaches different parents choose to take and why.

Photo, goldberg

Cheech has recently discovered the art of stealing toys from other kids, and I have to admit it has caught me a bit off guard. It's not that I was expecting her to be this perfect little angel, but rather that I guess I don't know exactly how to handle the situation. The thing is, I think Joe and I might me hyper aware of this type of behavior because we're not planning on having any more children (more on that some other time). We're CONSTANTLY bombarded with unwelcome comments from people telling us that it's a detriment to our child to not give her a sibling, and that we're going to end up raising a bratty and selfish kid. Obviously, I think that's all a load of crap (again, more on that later), but I think all these opinions have caused us to put in the extra effort to ENSURE that we don't end up with a kid who has a strong sense of self-entitlement.

We got the chance to make up that music class she missed last week because of her ear infection. At some point during the class, the teacher emptied out a basket of maracas onto the floor for all the babies to choose from. Kids started picking their instruments left and right, and sure enough, Cheech crawled up to one of them and yanked a maraca right out of her hand. I took it away from her, handed it back to the little girl, and told Cheech that someone was already playing with that one and she had to pick her own. What REALLY shocked me was that after she found and picked her own maraca, another kid came up to her and stole it. His mom said nothing. So, we picked a second maraca and it was stolen by yet another kid. Again, the parent said nothing. As I looked around, I realized that kids were pulling toys out of other kids' hands like little maniacs, and none of the adults in the room seemed to notice/care. I know this is a phase that most babies go through, but is it really customary to just let it be?

When we went to her second music class yesterday, same routine, but this time with mini bongos. And of course, Cheech had her eye on one that had already been nabbed by a little boy. When I took it away from her and handed it back, his mother told me it was fine and that she could play with it. Although I appreciated her kindness, I made it clear that she had to pick her own and that I was trying to teach her that she can't just grab whatever she wants from whomever she wants. The mom looked at me like I was a total lunatic.

Here's the thing, I know Cheech is still very young and that for the most part, she really doesn't understand the concept of right and wrong. HOWEVER, and I could be wrong here, I truly believe that a) these problems should be nipped in the bud (and will be easier to cope with in the future if tackled in the beginning stages), and b) babies are smart and even at a very early age, can learn the difference between appropriate and inappropriate behavior. For Cheech, I find that the best learning tool is repetition. As soon as she started crawling, she was OBSESSED with playing with the cat's food and water bowl. After about 100,000 times of redirecting and "yucks", I know for a fact that she understands that she's not supposed to be touching his stuff. Does she still do it? Yes, occasionally she will. Just yesterday she turned over his water bowl and sat in the puddle of water in her last clean pair of pants. But for the most part, when she crawls up to the bowls, I see her stop and think about her next move. For the most part these days, she'll turn around and crawl away. Sometimes, she'll even look over at me to see if I'm watching... you know, just to test me. Slowly but surely, she's getting it.

Anyway, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this subject. Are you guys more proactive when it comes to these types of situations, or do you just let it be?

Adorable Boogaloos

Hi friends. I have an exciting (and scary!) baby related project, up on ADF, in case you are interested.

♥

photograph of H & I by michelle of rad + in love

I wanted to keep the co sleeping discussion going. Some of you brought up some great points in the last comment thread, and as soon as I was going to respond to all of them, I got super sick, then Cheech got super sick, and blah blah blah.

So, here are my responses...

@williamsburgbaby Honestly, I think it's impossible to really know what parenting techniques you're going to adopt until you actually have your baby. Like I mentioned, we were on the fence about co sleeping, but once Cheech was born, it didn't make sense to do it any other way. I feel like lots of things have ended up that way.

I agree with Jamie that it probably is a survival strategy for most people... although, I know most people don't sell it that way. The first year, especially those first few months, can be insanely challenging. I think it's only natural for new parents to fall into habits that make life easier for themselves and their baby. For us, that was co sleeping. Knowing my EXTREMELY DEFIANT little girl, "training" her to sleep in her crib really has not been worth the effort. I've spent the last year exhausted as a new mom, and truthfully, I don't feel the need to exhaust myself anymore. Some people might consider this lazy parenting, but I disagree whole heartedly. I find that getting through that first year (and possibly even second year) organically is more about logic than laziness. In other words, you'll know what works best for you and your babe. Whether that's using a crib or altogether skipping it, like I've said before there is no "right" way.

@The Waits I couldn't agree more; Co sleeping feels extremely natural for us as well. That being said, I know many people, personally even, who think we're total weirdos for doing it. ;)

@Amy My point exactly! It's so funny how you plan and plan, and just assume that you have it all figured out before your baby comes. I crack myself up when I remember some of the things I used to think I'd do, or ways I was sure I'd be.

@Clairsy I totally get how a family bed just isn't for everyone. If it freaks you out to the point where you're getting less sleep, then yeah, skip it. Like stated above, it's all about survival.

Things were different for us. This may sound very odd, but I have always felt that Cheech is safer in our bed than she would be on her own. I'm pretty sure most parents who co sleep share this sentiment. I guess I feel that having her so close to me gives me a leg up if something is going wrong, i.e. she stops breathing. Obviously, I understand that not everyone would be on the same page as me with this issue.

As she's gotten older, our sleeping arrangement has changed significantly. For the the first 5 months, she slept between us. At least 3 of those months, she slept on the Boppy Infant Lounger. Swaddling was a total disaster for us; She learned how to break her arms out by the time she was two weeks old, and if we wrapped her so tight that she couldn't break free, she'd cry. So, we gave up on traditional swaddling by the end of her first month. As a result, she learned how to become a very active sleeper at an early age. Once all the rolling started happening, we got rid of the lounger and placed her on the mattress slightly above our heads so that our covers wouldn't touch her.

Somewhere between months 4 and 5, she got pretty good at rolling back and forth in her sleep, and I'd find that she would scoot herself down to get under the blankets. It wasn't until around 6 months that we started putting her under the blankets with us. I know that's somewhat of a controversial decision, but I think it's all about knowing your own baby. She had gotten so skilled at moving around in her sleep, that our fear of SIDS diminished significantly. About a couple months ago, she even started using her own pillow. After she had spent weeks fighting me for mine, I finally gave in. Again this arrangement isn't for everyone, but it has worked and been safe for us.

Also, we do have our bed against a wall. We usually start the night out with her between us, but she prefers sleeping right up against the wall, so she always ends up there at some point during the night. When we're not in bed with her, we barricade the other side and foot of the bed with our couch cushions.

@Emily Yes, it WILL happen. Just because babies who co sleep tend to take longer to figure it out, it doesn't mean that they NEVER will.

@Yellow Buttercup We never used a co sleeper bassinet, but I've heard only great things. I guess they're the perfect compromise between a traditional bassinet and having your baby sleep in your actual bed. I have a friend who use one and now that her baby is too big, she uses the pac n' play just as you described. We tried the pac n' play method, but sadly, had no success. For Cheech, I believe that a lot of her sleeping issues also have to do with having enough space. Therefore, cribs, bassinets, pac n' plays, and everything of the sort have never been roomy enough for her.

And to everyone else, thanks for commenting. I know this is an intriguing topic both for parents-to-be, and parents who would never even fathom co sleeping. I like discussing sharing a bed with our baby because it's the way we do, but please don't feel like I'm pushing this method on any of you. I 100% know that it's not right for every baby. Had I not had so much difficulty breastfeeding, and had Cheech not screamed bloody murder every time we attempted to put her in a crib, I can't be positive we'd be a co sleeping family either.

Oh, man. We've got a sick baby on our hands. VERY SICK. We were certain it was just allergies when it started on Saturday, but as her symptoms worsened and she got about 100x more sick than we'd ever sen her, I knew something was up. Sure enough, her doctor's appointment this morning confirmed that she has croup AND an ear infection. I am one sad Mama right now. And you know what makes this awful situation so much lamer? She had to miss her first music class today. Total bummer.

Reason that you must buy your near walking baby a walker toy:


Reason it should be a wagon:


(OK, also because your baby will take great joy at putting things in and out of the wagon. Always sorting, those babies.)

Here's a quick question for you: At around what age did your little one start to show an interest in coloring? The reason I ask is because I was big-time into coloring when I was a kid. In fact, I still really enjoy pulling out a coloring book and coloring a few pages from time to time. I think it's such a fantastic activity for kids for so many reasons, and I've kind of been holding my breath waiting for Cheech to partake in all the fun. We took her out to Happy Hour a few nights ago, and when our hostess handed her some crayons and a paper menu to scribble on, I practically leaped out of my seat from excitement. If our hostess thinks Cheech is ready for some coloring, surely she must be. But, nope, not at all. As with everything else, she's still only concerned with eating crayons. C'est la vie.

Photo, davebias

A brief chat with Naurnie (in which she requested that I kiss H on the head for her) promptly brought me back to a dream I had the night before, one where I looked over at Henry and he, almost out of nowhere, suddenly had a head full of curly hairs. (Nothing could be further from the truth, ha!) Curly haired babe via LE DANS LA.

Holy crap, guys. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to take a picture of an incredibly active 11 month old? I took 52 shots and I swear to you, only 4 are in focus. And of those 4, there's just one that is fully in focus. I'm really starting to see the beauty of only doing these monthly photos for a year.

Anyway, here we are. The home stretch. In approximately 4 weeks, my baby will no longer be a baby; She will officially be a toddler. I know I've said it before, but it truly is surreal how quickly time flies. Cheech doesn't even feel like a baby anymore. She keeps acquiring lots of fancy new skills that get her closer and closer to becoming more independent from us... more her own person. I'm so proud of her.

P once mentioned that the first year is about SURVIVING, and it could not be better put. There is so much to learn, both about your baby AND yourself, that it's virtually impossible not to [often] feel emotionally, mentally, and physically overwhelmed. But it's all good. Last week, Joe and I were reflecting on the past 11 months. He said that it has been both the most challenging and the most fun year of his life. So fucking true.

Thanks to an anonymous comment on this post I started reading bonbon mini. Have you checked it out? You should. From that blog I got the genius idea of hiring an in home instructor for cpr/first aid. Ben and I wanted to brush up and go into better detail from what we learned in our baby care class, but finding the time to actually go to one was proving hard. So we searched until we found Sue Lockhart. A few friends came over (above, ms Tori and beautiful little Lucca Valentine) and our nanny came for a refresher. H got to hang out and yell and bang on blocks during the class and no one minded. It was great. The small classroom size was perfect too! And if you are in the area, I really recommend Sue/Lockhart Training.